Voice Of Good Counsel, With Echo By Margaret Marks (And Other Poems About Our Children)

 The following is poem written back in 1948 and found in the New Yorker magazine, though under lock. A typed up version of this was sent to me by my mother while I was serving a church mission in Spain for two years. It hit me then and has continued to resonate with me, even more so now that I have children of my own (though the subject in the poem is a son, much like the better known "If" by Rudyard Kipling, I feel both poems equally apply to daughters). I've felt the desire for a while to put up an accessible version of the poem for a while (especially since it is a hard poem to find even when searching for it) so here you are:



Voice Of Good Counsel        With Echo

Because a child is not a flower

And will not wither from the stem,

Do not conspire against that hour 

When you must needs let go of him.

Because a child is not a feast

However much he feed your pride,

Against that hour he is released

Set you other food and drink aside.

Because a child is not a reason

And calls but does not justify,

Plan to outlive his needy season

And listen now beyond his cry.

Because a child is not a king,

Get you some other livery on,
Lest you stand bare and shivering

When he is garmented and gone.

(Oh flower that from my roots did spring,
My feast, my reason, and my king)

By Margaret Marks

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Speaking of "If" by Rudyard Kipling, if you haven't read it or haven't read it in a while, it is always worth a read, whether applying to a child you know or even to yourself.

If— 

 

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

By Rudyard Kipling

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And finally here is a short poem that I wrote about 4 years ago for my daughters after a day of walking them around with their double stroller.



Procession

When my daughters and I walk out that door,
they in their buggy and I, their chauffeur,
everyone knows to get out of our way.

On the buses they leap from their seats.
It’s no coincidence crowds part and stare.
I hear praise of their style, their wit with words,
and their knowledge of how to command.

Silence ye nations. Behold them go forth.

Traffic stops at their crossing. Everyone knows
how hard it is to be young. They all know
these are their future queens.

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Finally, this particular blog, of my two, is the one meant to encourage others to write. I encourage the same right now to you - write down your thoughts on children or childhood (or advice to them or to parents). Here you have examples of various angles you might use to approach your thoughts:




1. General thoughts on children/parental advice

2. 
Imagine yourself in the position of a child or a parent and what their feelings might be in a specific experience
.

3. Take a news article you've seen about a child or a parent where something happened and write about it
 either from their perspective or as an outsider.

4. Is there anything you specifically admire about a child or parent you know (even yourself)? Why or why not? What advice would you give and why? Is there a story or scene that shows this?


I firmly believe that writing poetry or prose is one of the best ways to give therapy to yourself.
Even if you only have five minutes, try spilling words from your mind unfiltered on a page for that time and I think it will surprise you what comes out.